Never Leave Children Alone
by RenegadeWerewolf
Summary: Hakkai has driven off to see if his three friends can get along and not kill each other.Sanzo is pissed and Goku and Gojyo try to cook.
1. Chapter 1

About the fic before you read it:

Dissclaimer- I don't own Saiyuki as much as i would like to.But i do own a character that will be poping in eventualy.She's all mine

Summary-Hakkia has driven away to see if his friends can live without him and not kill each other.Sanzo is pissed and Goku and Gojyo try to cook.

Rated- T+ as it has minor language and violence and sexual hints if i take it further.

Pairings- HakkiaXGuko, KougaijiXSanzo, and Gojyo is left to brood.

**Never leave children alone **

Sanzo growled as Goyjo and Goku squabbled over, you guessed it…a fucking meat bun.

"Mine you damned chimp so back off!"

"I'M NOT A CHIMP YOU RED COACKROACH KAPPA!"

The blonde-haired monk winced before he grabbed hold of the item in question and threw it as far away from their camp as he could. Violet eyes turned and glared at the half-breed and the heretic child daring them to open their mouths to complain. Between gritted teeth, he said calmly to the crimson and gold stares "Shut up before I kill you both and leave your bodies to rot" before he turned his back and walked away. He needed a smoke and to get away from his companions, not that he would call them that to their face.

This whole journey to stop the revival of Gyumaoh was grating down his nerves to a fine thread, he was surprised that he had not lost his sanity the moment he'd gotten into jeep. Shaking his head he reached into his robes and pulled out his box of cigarettes, pulling on out he placed it to his lips just as an explosion knocked him off his feet and into a tree. Thinking it was another youkai attack, he made his way back to the camp, his gun in hand and his fag forgotten still hanging between his lips.

To his disgust and amazement, he found the monkey and the kappa sprawled out on the floor and covered in dough and bits of meat. The monk did not know what to think but he knew what he wanted to do. Striding into the camp, he kicked them both before throwing his head back and yelling at the top of his lungs "HAKKIA!".

Normally the healer would have come running but Sanzo scowled and fumed even more when he didn't. Where the hell had that punk idiot gone he wondered as he grabbed and hauled the monkey up by his hair. He just kicked the water sprite and allowed a rear smile to cross his face. Maybe he could have some fun without Hakkia's disapproving eye, but he left the letch alone and glared at his charge "where is Hakkai? In addition, why have you pair of idiots been trying to cook?" He cast a distasteful glare at the mess while Goku came up with a lie to save himself some hurt.

"Ididn'tmeanit, kappamademe, Iknew youwouldn'tlikeit………………………"

The monk stared at the kid spouting nonsense before shaking him hard, that mess made no sense what so ever. He took a shuddering breath summoning calm and asked "Where.Is.Hakkia?" hopefully it would penetrate his monkey mind. He didn't like the answer from the Kappa who had dragged his half-breed ass off the floor and was matching glares with the droopy eyed blonde.

"He's left us"

Those three words hit Sanzo like a sledgehammer between the eyes; he blinked a few times before bellowing, "HE DID WHAT?"

TBC

Don't forget to review!


	2. Chapter 2

_((Ok people I was not going to take it further coz I meant that I had to think up another chapter. However, I gotta say that now I'm not on a sugar rush so it could be less funny but I'll try my best ok.))_

_Special thanks to- Promenade, Kitematsu and Kenihiko as they reviewed and I didn't even think anyone would. So thanks peoplegrins happily_

_Disclaimer- I do not own Saiyuki and if I did I'm sure no one would like it. I do own Kellian Ishamoura the Bounty Huntress who is joining in the next chapter. Well I think she will be anyway._

_Summary-Hakkai has driven off to see I his friends can live without him and not kill each other.Sanzo is pissed and Goku and Goyjo try to cook._

_Pairings- yeah I know I said there would be some, just gotta figure them out. There will be some that is for sure._

_P.S- I know I said that this would be Hakkai in this chapter, it is not and I'm sorry if I got anyone's hopes up. It is Sanzo, and the two idiots and Hakkai one. You wanted more shrugs you got more._

Chap 2

Alone in the woods

Goku looked at Sanzo's livid face and swallowed had, the monk was ready to blow and he and Goyjo where the closest things to shoot. The monkey king looked at the pervy water sprite and they shared one of those moments where they knew what to do and when to do it…..

They both ran for cover just as the pissed blond started shooting at them. He easily outpaced the kappa and he would not have it any other way. He'd learned the hard way what Sanzo could and would do when he was in a borderline meltdown. A bullet whizzed past his nose and he tumbled into a thorny bush with a yelp. All this over a meat bun?. A hand grabbed his shoulder and he screamed as he thought it was Sanzo but infact a very scared cockroach.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told him where 'kai was"

The heretic child shook his head while he listened to the droopy eyed priest destroy their camp. This really wasn't a good day. First Goyjo tells him Hakkai had left in the night, and then they'd tried to cook some dinner hoping Sanzo wouldn't notice 'kai gone. Like that would have happened anyway, next thing he'd knew, their meat buns had exploded in both their faces and he'd been looking up into cold amethyst eyes.

Now both the monkey and the kappa where running for their lives while the extremely pissed off priest destroyed whatever he could.

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM AND THEN YOU TWO FUCKWITS WHEN I FIND YOU!"

They both cringed and pulled further back into the woods away from the camp, where Sanzo could easily find them and fill them full of hot lead. Both where too scared to face him normally, let alone when he was armed and wanting to kill.

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He couldn't believe it, Hakkai had up and left them even when they were on a damned mission to stop some mad youkai freak in the west. The worldly priest wanted nothing more the healer's skinny neck between his hands so he could choke the life out of him .That went for the to dumbass's hiding, wherever the fuck they where.

Growling he kicked a tree stump and hopped about in pain as an annoyingly familiar female laugh made him jump.

"Nephew Konzen what are you doing?"

That bitch better have something important for my or I swear I will shoot her he though silently.Sanzo turned his violet glare on the Goddess and growled before aiming his gun "What do you want you old hag? I'm busy". Well he was not really that busy, he just didn't want to hear what came out of the bitch's mouth.

"Language child, I was only going to tell you where your friend was heading but as you're busy I'll leave you alone"

Sanzo was just about to demand what the interfering God knew but he blinked and she disappeared with a smug grin on her face.Oh this was turning to out to be a great fucking day.He would find Hakkai and kill him without meddlers sticking their beaks in to his affaires.His shoulders slumped, as he looked t the destroyed camp and he gave up. He would not kill them; he'd banish them with his scripture he thought as he shoved his gun into the holster in his robes sleeve" fuckwits can stay up a tree for all I care" he muttered "I'm gonna find me an inn with a warm bed". He walked away without thinking about the fools following behind him, out of his sight and range.

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Hakkai smiled as he lifted the cup to his lips, he was thinking of his friends stuck in the middle of nowhere. They would not last an hour without Sanzo shooting them.

TBC

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_(Ohhh I am evil aren't I smile well I did say Hakkai was in it, just didn't say how much y'all would see of him. Well that was Chapter 2 done with no sugar in my system; somehow, I think it's better with my hyped on the stuff._

_Note to self- eat more sugar!_

_Well y'all know what I'm gonna ask but if you don't I'll tell you………… REVIEW IT))_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ok I've got sugar in me I haven't slept in over 42 hours and it's getting annoying. I'm rushed off my feet at work and collage so after this chapter I don't know when there will be another. This was quickly thought up in my collage class but I was full on sugar so it might be good. I wouldn't know as I wrote it.

Disclaimer-I don't own Saiyuki, I just write sad little stories. I do own Kellian Ishamoura and she'll wiggle her way in somehow.

Thanks to the reviewers, y'all know who you are. I love you three, you give me something to do when I have a boring lesson A-coming. This chapter is dedicated to my friend Marley Griffin and my little brother who is ill with the flu, which he caught from me. Sorry Matt (cringes and grins)

Yeah it's a sad title but I couldn't think of anything with a teacher breathing down my neck and my friends poking me.

Chapter 3

Rebellion

Hakkai sat peacefully in the quaint little courtyard and waited. He had so loved his first few hours of 'freedom' immensely. He'd driven to the first inn on the map and on his road and spent the night in a warm, soft bed. All to his self and he'd enjoyed a nice warm shower with soap,arrrh pure heaven.

The emerald-eyed demon sighed as he thought of his friends he'd left on their lonesome in the woods nearly six miles from him. The picture in his mind was not a good one.

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Sanzo with his hands around Gojyo's throat while Goku hangs on Sanzo trying to make the monk let go.

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Oh yes there would be trouble when the brutal monk found him along with the others. Well he could give them an excuse that they had needed new provisions for the trip but truth be told he didn't give a damn what they thought.

He felt different, rebellious and…he liked it. He was always so calm, so understanding while they got themselves into tricky situations. There where times when he felt like saying 'sod off and leave me be' when they where concerned. A smirk caught his lips, oh that was Sanzo's influence coming out in him alright.He really would start to be worried if he started craving meat buns or started to smoke like a chimney. Licking his lips, he whispered, "Merciful Goddess please don't make me into anything like them, one of each is bad enough!"

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_Up in Heaven in Kanzeon's pool_

Kanzeon drifted on her back and groaned as she heard someone say her name. What was it with mortals wanting to talk to the God's 24-7? She hated it. Sighing she rolled over and looked at the water sloshing about her waist, who is it I wonder? She thought as she looked for the owner of the voice.

"Oh it Konzen's little friend, what he doing?"

She watched Hakkai and yawned, he wasn't very interesting sat on a bench waiting.Tuting she looked around for her nephew and giggled as she saw him choking the half-breed "ohhhhhhhhh goodie, he's pissed!"

She laughed as she watched the monk choke the water sprite while the monkey tried to break it up. Well she thought I'm glad I never told him where his other companion is. Somehow, she thought it would be fun to watch this play out.

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_Back on earth_

Glancing at his new silver pocket watch Hakkai grinned as he heard the bell. He'd bee looking forward to this for quite some time, since they'd both signed their names. He smiled as he heard her and stood up.

The demon brushed the dust off his trouser then heard the all to familiar panting of an out of breath Yoane.He watched and smiled as she ran past an old lady to reach him

"I'm sorry Hakkai-san the dragon was far too lazy for his own good."

He bowed and offered her his arm so he could escort her inside but the old woman stopped them with a queer look

"This is flower arranging you know, are you lost dears?"

Oh that was grand he thought silently but he smiled and said, "No ma'am we're here to learn.

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_Back in Heaven_

The Goddess blinked and then burst out laughing, the big bad demon slayer was going to learn how to arrange flowers. It was to good to be true.

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"MOVE IT OR I'LL BANISH YOU KAPPA!"

Goyjo cringed as he picked up his pace along with the monkey. He was so ready to kill 'kai for this little stunt.

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Well that is a short chapter people.

I'd love to hear if you had any ideas for upcoming chaps if you have them.


	4. Chapter 4

Mood and music- hyperish and I'm listening to Flyleaf; I'm so sick along with other songs as I can't work in silence, it gets on my nerves.

Ok guys chapter 4, yeah it might be crappy but I'm bored so if you don't like it don't read it. This is a Sanzo and his idiot's chapter, as I was thinking about it last night when I should have been dreaming about sugarplum fairies, whatever the hell they are! (Shakes head at the screen and ducks under desk as teacher comes up behind)Yippee I didn't caught hahehahehahe, coughs and chokes anyway instead of me dying on you I'll type the chapter, get out of the room and run for the hills incase the teacher decides he needs to talk to me. p in this chapter my head is all over the place and I really don't have a clue who'll be in it when all is said and done.

This is for Marley and my younger bro who's still sick and for my three reviewers, cheers guys! And this goes to my dear friend Ash as he's stood over me watching me type this out.

Disclaimer-I don't own saiyuki, I'm just mortal and don't have the brain to think up good stories like that. Anyway I'm sure that if I did own it, it wouldn't be that popular.

I'll kill you, then, you and when I find him, I'll kill him to...and then I'll kill you!

Hakkai was so dead when Sanzo got his hands on him how dare that good for nothing demons piss off without telling them. The blond monk was so going to banish his behind straight into oblivion and if those bastards behind him didn't move he'd banish them to. He was cursed to be surrounded by idiots and total fucking freaks he thought as he glared over his shoulder at the two slackers' Hakkai was gonna pay for leaving them with him, the one word buzzing around his head that made his lips quirk in a edition of a smile was 'kill'.

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Goku swallowed hard and lowered his eyes; he'd never seen Sanzo this way before. He didn't know what had caused it, but it was scary as hell. His stomach growled loudly and he gulped, as he heard the distinctive click that meant a gun was aimed at him .Oh yeah he was scared, not that he wasn't normally, and I mean come on this was Sanzo after all.

He looked at Gojyo and mouthed 'I'm hungry' just as a bullet whizzed by.Ok maybe not that hungry he thought as he looked into the chilling violet gaze directed at him.

Yeah he thought to himself,'kai was gonna pay for this.

He looked at the back of the blondes head and for some reason couldn't help but make faces, he knew it would likely end with him pissing lead but damnit! He couldn't help it.

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Gojyo watched the monkey and couldn't help joining in with him, taking the piss out of Sanzo, the Buddha boy needed to get a life. Christ on a cross he couldn't get over the fact Hakkai had left him, his best friend with a monk and a monkey.

Rolling his eyes he looked at the monkey and tripped him up into the monks trailing robes. Well while the cat is away the kappa will play.

Smirking he walked by the heap of monkey and monk whistling all the while, well maybe there would be some fun to come out of all this.

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Ok that is Chap 4, incredibly short but screw it, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT!

I'll start 5 tonight but I'm running out of ideas so, I plead, help me think of something.

If you come up with some funky stuff I'll add it into the mix and hope it doesn't go _BANG! _


	5. Chapter 5

(Mood and music: not hyper and listening to music from final fantasy x and Pink)

**Muse**: Oh, hell she's gonna shoot me! (Keeps running for dear life)

**Jessie**: (glares at muse) yeah you had better run to woman, crappy ideas coming out of your trap are so not ever going in here!

**Muse**: Oh damn that's the fourth job this week (hops on a bus and ducks under the seat)

**Jessie**: (looks at the people and smiles) Heya guys and girls, sorry it has been a little while since chapter 4 was put up, a week I think. I have had problems with the computer and have only just had them fixed today. Thank you for the ideas and the reviews that where posted and emailed, I was really stuck in a difficult situation there. Well this I chapter 5 coming up hope you like it coz it took me long enough, if ya don't like it that's fine with me.

If you do like it, please review and I'll carry it on. If you have ideas, I'd be glad to here them.Ok guys enjoy

This is for Marley, Sean, my little bro and the faithful little bunch who review

Disclaimer- I don't own anything to do with Saiyuki

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Never leave children alone

Chapter 5

Sticky, Tricky, Picky, Hungry!?

Jiroushis looked at his mistress and looked away knowing that he wouldn't get her to drop this far-fetched scheme with the Sanzo party.

He did let a slight smile mar his normally stotic face as he watched her plan, heaven had been so dull lately,maybe,just maybe he would like her little mess in the end.

Sighing he reached into his pocket and pulled out some paracetamol as he knew form experience that he would have a killer of a headache when she was done, he'd deal with the paperwork too he thought dully as he heard her giggle .

Kanzeon grinned, as her little plan was set into motion while she watched her nephew punch the kappa. They really should lighten up she thought as she quickly added another touch, maybe they would all get along now.

Twirling her black hair around her finger, her stomach growled and she looked up for her aid and stood up. Pouting when she could not see him, she stamped her foot and sat down in a huff, all she had wanted was a sandwich.

"Fine Jiro be like that!" she muttered while all hell broke lose with the Sanzo party with a smirk on her pink lips.

Goku looked into deaths eyes before jumping up and running like hell.

The monkey kicked the pervy bugger from behind just as Sanzo whacked him with his fan sending him flying into a wall while Goyjo started to yelp in fear.

"Goku, help me and I'll buy you meat buns!"

The monkey froze as his stomach growled before daring to look over his shoulder. That cheesy kappa had better make good on his deal he thought as he jumped on to Sanzo's back and hugged his sun making the monk freeze and collapse.

Goyjo rolled to the side as His lordship fell with a strangled yelp, the monk was bonkers. Standing up he brushed the muck off his trousers and screamed high as a girl as a bullet cut off his two antennas, oh jeez he was beginning to take the cockroach crap to heart.

Tears burned his eyes as he realised he was taking the name personally and for payback to the monkey he jumped into the small tussle between the monk and the monkey.

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_20 Minuets later, all three are laid on the dusty road panting and bruised to hell, the famous fan had been broken into little bits after the first few hits to the kappa's head._

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Sanzo looked at the pink sky and scowled before lighting up and taking that much-needed drag of nicotine. He listened to the perv do the same and sighed as some many different torture ideas ran through his mind of what he was gonna do to Hakkai when they finally found the deserter.

He looked out of the corner of his eye to Goyjo and smirked "he is so dead when I get my hands on him!". He was rewarded by two voice's demanding to help him and he grinned.

Oh yeah Cho Hakkai was so dead

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Well there you go, what's the goddess's plan you wonder. Guess you'll have to read on to find out.

**Review or don't review, it is up t you!**


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